Edge

I’m always on the verge of something new when you come back and you’re like “here, here I am, take me or leave me”. And everything gets confusing for a while and things I once thought were good and I was able to depend on don’t seem very pretty anymore. Sometimes I strongly dislike you; you make me want to pull my hair out. But most of the time I can’t dislike you, there’s too much between us for me to ever stay mad at you, unfortunatly.
You’ve got a part of me, permanently. You’re here and under my skin.

Old things new again.

You have left me breathless, stolen the words completely from my tongue. My mind is a jumbled up mess, and the jumbling will not stop. This isn’t something I can simply zip up and tuck away. Old dusty memories, cleaned and polished and shoved at me. This is making me feel again. Raw, open, vulnerable.

Burn

I want that heat, the heat you get in the pit of your belly. I want slow, secret smiles. I want words burning along my skin. I want that spark, that sweet ache. I want something fresh. I want to feel again. I long for the presence of fingers inbetween the spaces of mine. I long for the heavy laughter, for the burn burn burning of something new. I long for touches that make me flip flop. I long for something to want again.

{

i cannot just sit here and pretend as though i am not hurting. you have broken me completely. you filled me up with sweet nothings, making me sigh and giggle and for the first time in a while, feel loved. you filled me up and look at where i am now: empty. you took your forevers and your honey words and shut the door.  you have made me lay in bed at 3 am and wonder whether or not i was the cause of this all, made me wonder where all of this came from.

i need someone to shed me of my new insecurities and tell me that i will be okay, to scrub me of my tears and pain and make me soft again. whole again.

“

and i need you to want me like you used to, because i am tearing at the seams. this doesnt make sense and you dont make sense and there is nothing i can hold on to.

up and away.

you are ashes and honey, all sweet and wonderful. you are galaxies and milky ways and the mist in the morning. you are smiles and dew drops and comets. you are warmth. you are smoke curling in the air. you are a happiness that radiates from my pores.  a secret look. you are a storm, my world crashing down around my feet in shadows. you are light.

if this is just the beginning

my life is gonna be beautiful.

-dean martin

ahhhhh. (:

thousands.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“im wandering, im crawling, im two steps away from falling.”

look, touch, smile. i want to dive right in. let go, release. you give me wings. flutter, the stars, talking. blue eyes and pink cheeks. a thousand new memories and giggles and kisses and stupid back and forth conversations.

“we’re cute together, huh?’

oh man

what did i do to get this lucky?

happy

times.

you you you. (:

(thanks mom)